For me, actively practicing anything, whether it’s a language or journaling or Pokémon, is a chore. I’m the type who simply does what I please, when I please, with no regard for whether I ought to be doing something else. I’ve always been this way, and it suits me just fine, but what about when it comes to committing to a spiritual practice or a magickal art?
I was a Christian child, but only nominally, and only because I didn’t know there were other options. The closest I ever came to an active practice was a brief bout of religiosity when I was 11, in which I prayed nightly and wanted to “get right with God.” Well, that didn’t quite work out, as it lasted a couple months at best, and I was an atheist by 13. Atheism is simply a lack of belief, and so does not have any practices. The most (actual, fruitful) spiritual work I’ve ever done was as a teenager exploring New Age spirituality. I meditated each night and was able to have some interesting experiences with it. Even then, I was only doing it because I hoped to have more unusual experiences, not because I felt obligated to do so as part of a spiritual practice. The bottom line is I’m not used to devoting time to spiritual development or religious activities. It has just never come up.
My carefree kind of attitude is all well and good for my regular, daily life, but when it comes to learning the arts of tarot or runes or astrology, just “doing as I please” isn’t cutting it. Studying all the right books and reading every webpage on the subject means nothing if I do not pick up my tools and practice – often. For an undisciplined soul like me, that’s tough! But divination is my strongest interest aside from meditation, so there are no shortcuts if I really want to learn the arts. Drat!